So Bleh

Current Weight:175ish

Thanks to Saturday night/Sunday early morning, I felt like total crap on Sunday and thus did pretty much nothing. I was in a relatively deep-seated despair until one of my net buddies talked to me about it and then another of them sent me the probably illegal-ish Harry Potter .pdf. I wouldn't have accepted it, but I have the book on order, and it just hadn't shipped till today, so...I really don't feel bad in the slightest about reading it.

One day. About eight hours and it was done. I have never taken longer than ten hours to read one of the books, so I was glad at that. And it really lightened my mind.
I still didn't get anything done, but my art class is just piling on the stress right now. I kind of want to set the teacher on fire at the moment.
Why?
I like him plenty, but our final project is just insane. We have the completely replicate two of an artists drawings (not painting, so basically, ink); that means to size, same materials, exact mediums. And then we have to push out two of our own in the same style and similar composition. All due on FRIDAY.

I haven't started this. Mainly because I am so overwhelmed by the idea of it.

I am completely and totally in fear of this project because I am a perfectionist. Perfectionist. And in case you missed it: PERFECTIONIST
This is pretty much the worst project I could ever be asked to do. Because I'll probably go through I don't even know how many attempts. Not only that, but if the medium isn't just ink, I'm screwed. I am not comfortable with ink-related mediums. I don't use them and thus have no idea how to control them. Graphite and oil paints (to a lesser degree) are my bitches, but pretty much everything else is lost on me. I'm bad with charcoal (probably my aversion to having really dirty hands) and actually hate it quite a lot. I love messing around with other paints, but I've never been taught, nor have I felt like wasting $100-some just to play around with really good pigments. Yeah...that would be what I call a WASTE.
Let me be clear about something, though: I am not averse to learning them and then mastering them, but I lock up if expected to just magically know how to use it with no guided practice whatsoever.

And here my teacher is in the e-mail he sent yesterday in clarification, talking about ink wash and all these other things I have heard of but have never once touched upon. Ever.

This makes me about ten-shades of nervous.

In other news, I really wanted to make pad see ew the other day (I think yesterday), but didn't quite get it right. I mean, I was improvising parts of it anyway 'cause I didn't have broccoli nor the right rice noodles...but what really took the cake was that in the ingredient list, whoever wrote it up failed to put dark soy sauce and light soy sauce next to each other. As it was, I completely missed the fact that I would need double the light as the dark and that made me a bit irked.
It still turned out tasty, but I made about six times too much...so I have a huge popcorn bowl full of a mysterious noodle dish in my fridge right now. And I've had it for four meals now (or will have had it for four meals after I finish writing this). I think I'll be able to finish it off tomorrow night.

In moments like these, I realize that I really need a wok...and probably a gas oven.

My friend and I talked about the whole meltdown that happened. I got to let out some of my doubts-- the ones I mentioned in entries below-- and he was kind enough to assure me that though my "bad example of real a man, immature male friend" may have been crude enough to place doubts in my mind, he did not feel that way about me. So, that was pretty much the turning point yesterday. That and reading the rest of Harry Potter.


Starting tomorrow, it's gonna be stress stress stress. But I have to get my butt to the gym. I haven't worked out in like four days. Bleh.